Thursday, August 11, 2005

Loving - and pretending to

Our readings, recent good 'growing pains' in our simple church experience, and new people recently brought into our lives have all combined to emphasize to me the prideless, selfless, and unconditional nature of love, and love's deep strength that is not intimidated by others' actions born of lesser motives. I am increasingly convinced that God as expressed most intimately through Christ, truly is the defining source of love in our universe. Of all the people who have ever walked this earth, none have understood and loved like Christ, not even close. His life and teaching speaks for itself. How can we hope to love like Him without giving unconditional allegiance to Him, obedience to His example and teaching, and therefore our willingness to accept His empowerment?

Questions: Do we 'love' people or projects? Do we treat people like projects, like they're a means to and end? What kind of love do the people we share life with experience? When we think we're loving, are we really just engaging in some kind of sick, selfish, covert, dehumanizing bartering system? Are our networks of relationships, in and out of church, really just massive emotional and psychological flea markets where we negotiate our felt-need-driven desire to manipulate and use others with the degree to which we are willing to be used and disrespected? How willing are we to deny our own immense value – as people created and loved by God – for the chance to devalue others? Isn't that ultimately disrespect of God? Do we accept and condone a degree of being used and disrespected because we feel we cannot live without doing the same to others? How many crutches are we addicted to that keep us from ever developing the strength to grow into the kind of people that could love like Christ?

I guarantee that the woman I'm quoting below writes with more authority than most who speak on her subject. You may have even heard of her before. It's a short book, easy read, powerful experience. I've bolded where I felt like it and edited some. Contact us if you want the reference info.

"Ah Ping could really talk when he got warmed up, and today he was going to tell me what most of them really felt. I respected his honesty, for few [people] will tell [ministers] what they really feel about them. 'You [people],' he continued, 'you come here and tell us about Jesus. You can stay for a year or two, and your conscience will feel good, and then you can go away. Your Jesus will call you to other work back home. It's true some of you can raise a lot of money on behalf of us underprivileged people. But you'll still be living in your nice houses with your refrigerators and servants and we'll still be living here. What you are doing really has nothing to do with us. You'll go home anyhow, sooner or later.

...we wouldn't mind believing in Jesus too if we could get on a plane and fly away round the world… they can sing about love very nicely, but what do they know about us? They don't touch us – they know nothing.'"

I Corinthians 13 - The Message - NLT - NIV
"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies."


"It is fashionable nowadays to visit [places] and the poor and call it outreach. Over the years we have had hundreds of short-termers who want to get the picture immediately - if possible on video - so they can show it to their home church and have an inspired evening. I have begged them to love the people and stay, just like Sai Di did of me thirty years ago. The disadvantage of short term is a wrong perspective based on this generation's need for instant results. ... Sometimes everything goes well and there are real [changes in allegiance], healings and glorious glimpses of changed lives. The visitors leave and wonder why it does not work at home... At other times nothing goes right, even here... Then the visitors leave disillusioned. 'It is nothing like she wrote in her book, we had a hard time.'

... So the voyeurs leave. They have their video clips but they never saw. It was either all too good or all too bad and neither was accurate. We love our people whether they turn out well or not and the successes do not vindicate our ministry nor the disappointments nullify it. What is important is whether we have loved in a real way - not preached in an impassioned way from a pulpit.

And then there is time. If God meant a child to grow slowly and safely in a loving family for up to eighteen years why should we be angry at those who do not change at our pace for the sake of our statistics, furlough or, sadly for some, funding? All the unreasonable benefits came for me after nearly twenty years... we have been delighted, sobbing representatives of the Father whose prodigal son crawled or rushed home after all.

Our summer [volunteers] did not stay to see this though we hoped they might yearn for it somehow. Stay for the party.. The fleeting volunteer sometimes catches a course but no one savours the whole menu like me.

'Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink, but you have saved the best till now.'"

5 Comments:

At 8/15/2005 03:55:00 PM, Blogger Brian & Leslie Hailey said...

How is Ed? I have been concerned and in prayer.

Did you make an anonymous post to my blog? What's the fun of that? haha

Brian

 
At 2/26/2006 01:17:00 AM, Blogger SM said...

[8/12/2005 02:44:49 PM]

Part of what Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy is bringing out for me is how Jesus' teaching aims squarly at this deepest part of our lives - I don't know yet whether to call it our 'true motivations' or 'attitude' or 'posture' or what... but Jesus unflinchingly deals with that in us that determines our behaviour, more than just the behaviours themselves. And because He sees and understands people as they really are, there's no squirming out of it with excuses. I see nowhere else to go where we could hope to begin addressing questions like we're asking here.

 
At 2/26/2006 01:18:00 AM, Blogger SM said...

8/13/2005 11:52:25 AM

(speaking of being uber-judgmental... first-borns do tend to have a serious perfectionist streak =)...

What I'm getting at re: becoming people/communities who love as Christ did is much more than merely putting out self-sacrifical effort and sincerity. It's more than going from giving roses to women in prostitution (conveying sentiment) to bringing them home to our families and providing them jobs (possibly loving them), though that'd be a great start. I'm talking about living life as Jesus Christ described it - actually accepting His invitation to live with God in the Kingdom - and that necessarily includes His manifest Spiritual empowerment, not merely dogged obedience to his ethical prescriptions. These things cannot be separated, really, and were basic assumptions for the earliest Christians and many current international ones. The Disciples are a great case in point.

I'm not a big fan of equating "obedience" with "being open to the Spirit" (though we certainly should!) given our North American context because the majority of our rhetoric re: the Spirit is merely that: rhetoric. We don't allow for the Spirit - it doesn't fit in our worldview and we're content for our churches to function pretty much on our own efforts. Our culture has told God to shove off, and our churches tell Him to keep a comfortable distance. If God decided to not show up Sunday morning to any given church, would there really be that much of a difference in what happened, what was said, what was done, what was experienced, what activities were planned for outside the church walls? Do our lives as individuals and communities really bear evidence to the existence and benevolence of a Living God or merely to the benefits of an ancient ethicist's teachings? We do a poor enough job of the latter, nevermind the former! I wonder what, aside from our rhetoric, really separates us from the Deists. Without romanticizing Asian and African Christianity, the same cannot be said of Christian communities everywhere.

The Spirit, in North America, is for the most part a label we apply in order to condone our own actions, decisions, and institutions - charismatics included. That's my unapologetic judgment call, though I currently stand with the condemned. The testimony of Scripture and much of the international Christian community is at odds with the West to an embarrassing degree over this. In the global picture, Western Christians and our exported religion has precious little Spiritual credibility. I realize I'm speaking this into a context where flaky charismatic Christianity routinely spews this kind of stuff, and I'm certainly not condoning that scene - though perhaps despite their faults they are saying some things we need to hear.

And academics will not save us - we can make excuses in the Academy at least as effectively as we can abuse evangelical fundamentalism. I'm increasingly convinced that God reserves the right to demand allegiance to Him over allegiance to what is often called 'intellectual honesty' or 'academic integrity.' God will not be subject to our terms, regardless of what they are. Being able to eke out a religious expression that is at relative peace with our academic standards and experience is a life far short of what Jesus invites us to. Such a life is merely Christianity on Western Enlightenment's terms. Who's on the Throne?

It's God entirely on His terms, or mediocrity and hypocrisy. History and experience indicate that He works with what we give Him but often that's not much for Him to work with, though we can sure blow it out of proportion with our rhetoric.

Negative and judgmental, I know, but for some (probably unhealthy) reason, it's easier to be brutally judgmental when I myself am condmened in the judgment. And I suppose that original post might have something to say here about being willing to be abused for the 'right' to abuse.

 
At 2/26/2006 01:19:00 AM, Blogger SM said...

8/15/2005 02:37:18 PM

... don't mean to preach... at least not to the choir, but I did enjoy the chance the lay out where I currently am on it all. That, I think, reflects a reaction to my current context - feeling the constant pressure/temptation to tell people what they want to hear, knowing that the 'average' potential financial partner might be uncomfortable with some of what we think. Stuff I couldn't cram into the original blog post, either, and you just provided the opportunity.

It was mostly the voice of the voice in my inner dialogue that is currently winning out against the others, and he always loves the chance to get some airtime, esp. these days.

"But then, how do we go about transcending our cultural limitations, let alone our mortal ones, to make manifest God's glory? And that's not a rhetorical question either."
Welcome to one of the biggest questions of mine and Jessica's life!
"Maybe that's the wrong question since it's likely caught up in a historically situated discourse that reflects my own presuppositions about the issue."
But you recognize that. Thank God for historians! (or whatever people in your discipline are calling themselves.)
"But I think it might be a fair one."
Fair and necessary, imo. I don't know the answers, but some things in our experience have pushed us in that direction. International experience and friendships - the real kind where you try to learn someone else's language and live with their family in their mud hut, not the bubbled tourist/voyeurist kind. Willingness to ask questions. Willingness to listen long enough to understand the view from someone else's perspective. Being highly selective of the influences we expose ourselves to (little popular media, relatively speaking – not to be elitist, just to avoid brainwashing through sheer repetition). Courses like Ethnotheology, Worldview & Worldview Change, history and philosophy. ... valuing truth over personal/emotional loyalties.

Ultimately though, and not equating the above with the following, I believe it has to do with allowing God to make us into the type of people He wants us to be. Willingness to allow the light of Christ to flood the darkness in our lives, willingness to allow our eyes to adjust to that brightness so we can see things more accurately, even though it hurts. Assuming that we 'see through a glass darkly.' Unconditional allegiance - where our values and fundamental worldview assumptions become negotiable ('rights,' for instance). Letting Christ set personal and communal standards and expectations, rather than common opinion.

(We'll be in Sorrey when we've exhausted our potential financial partnership leads in this region of the continent. Christmas at the very latesest.)

 
At 2/26/2006 01:20:00 AM, Blogger SM said...

8/16/2005 12:07:09 PM

Ed's alright - at least his chest pain wasn't caused by a heart condition. Doctor said his heart is fine. They took his blood a couple times, ran lots of tests and made him run on the treadmill. Looks like it was mostly stress-related, which is no big surprise. Ed's son-in-law was there, and he rang up a guy he knows in the office who processes the lab results, so we got out of there around 1:30am when it should have taken another hour or two.

Had a great time praying with Kent and Karen this morning. When decides to God provide for us - in this case we thought we needed a place to live - He really goes overboard!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Blessings and prayers...

As SM promised, here is my post about the blessing and send-off from our Abilene network:

Two Wednesdays ago, at our monthly praise and potluck night, our simple church network spent time blessing us and praying for as we wrap up our time in Abilene. Several times now, I've been in the group of those that were remaining in Abilene, surrounding and praying for those that were leaving. Our friends Travis and Alicia, as they headed to Brazil. Our friends Brian and Holly, as they moved to Montana. With each of their departures, I would count the months to August and realize that our time in Abilene was drawing short. As they left, I felt an odd mixture of grief and joy – grief over their leaving, joy over their lives and the ways that they will share life with everyone they encounter.

This time, as we drew our chairs into the center of the circle to be surrounded, prayed for, and blessed by these people we have grown to love, I felt the same mixture of pain and peace. And I realized that even when you know that it is time to leave, it doesn't necessarily make the goodbyes easier. I cried, though not as much as I expected given that I've actually cried at the last three months worth of praise and potluck nights in anticipation of this particular night.

It was a special time for SM and I, though in many ways it was just one of the ordinary ways that this group of people lives life together in Christ. Perhaps that very ordinariness is part of what made it so special; in learning to share life in Christ together and with those around us, His love has been weaving through our little community and transforming the regular rhythms of everyday life. When we think of our times in Abilene, we won't recall an endless series of Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights but will be encouraged by the memories of the way this spiritual family has loved us during our time here, and by the knowledge that they will continue to love us and pray for us even as we are away. We are so thankful for and blessed by the love of these ordinary people who continue to learn to live in the extraordinary life of those that belong to Christ.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Migrating

LM will write a deeply reflective and heartwarming post about our last blessing and send-off from the network later. Here's an update from the more day-to-day front...

Migrants
We moved out of the residence hall into our blue Dodge van ('77) on Thursday night. Thankfully, our friends love us and we had a blast staying with Miller, Deanna, Caleb, Micah, and Sarah for 4 nights. Now we're with K. & K. for a bit and like Miller and Deanna, their home and their presence is a great blessing for us.

Miller and Deanna have various framed quotes on the walls in their house, and this one (no idea where it comes from) happens to go well with what I'm currently reading and with my understanding of Life with God over the last little while:

"Command them not to fell timber and hew it into ships... spin for them yarns of the sea!"

Imagine how Life would be if we weren't so prone to losing the plot... kind of gets me a little excited thinking about it, actually =)

Good-bye Ducky
Nelson is now the proud owner of the yellow '77 Nova. We dropped it off yesterday (and amongst SM's sisters there was much rejoicing). It is a huge blessing to have more time to spend with people, and I realized at Nelson's that we've got a good opportunity to make up for some of the friendship time we lost to papers and exams over the last few years. We have plenty to do but no actual schedule, so we can spend the afternoon in Nelson's front yard or stay up talking with whoever happens to be around.

In Limbo
Now we spend most of the day following up contacts and trying to make more. Not very exciting, but I've got three full days of work coming up moving furniture into the almost-finished new residence hall. Sitting at a computer in an over-air conditoned room is gonna sound pretty good after three days of that, but it sure is nice to dig up some more gas money.

2 Comments:

At 8/02/2005 11:39:00 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8/03/2005 01:59:00 PM, Blogger Luke Hawkins said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home