Expressions of Support and Affirmation

I don't think I was really consciously looking for it or expecting it, so it has surprised me how meaningful and encouraging all these expressions of support, approval, and affirmation of our China plans and us personally have been over the last couple weeks.

It makes sense, I suppose, that approval from people whose opinions we value highly would be deeply meaningful to us. But I've read and heard too many stories of ministers, spouses, and people in general relying too much on the approval of other people (rather than God) for their self-worth and identity.

If it came down to it, we should be willing to believe or do whatever we truly believe God wants us to regardless of what anyone else thinks. Our first graduate class three years ago brought that up, Eddie Parish spends a lot of time on that general concept in his sexuality class (which we attended for the 5th? time in May), our parents and professors have modelled this in very big ways, and even Joyce Meyer's latest book Approval Addiction was plugged last week on CNN's Larry King Live. The approval-need idea has been so especially present in my mind during all our China preparations that I guess I was avoiding seeking personal affirmation from other people, telling myself that I shouldn't need it and if I ever starting feeling like I do then I'll need to grow up and get over it. Sure, we sought all kinds of opinions when formulating our China plans, but refining our project proposal and seeking others' approval of us as people are two different things! So it's a little strange for my independently-minded (and prideful) self to receive these kinds of blessings as I should. But it's also pleasantly surprising to find these expressions of affirmation so personally meaningful (and not necessarily threatening).

We've been blessed with continual encouragement and support in various ways from D. and Dr. E. throughout our entire committing-to-China journey. But S. & E.'s heartfelt acknowledgment of us along with the award at the grad school graduation dinner came as a surprise to me - in fact I don't even remember at the moment what the award is specifically for, but I certainly remember the passion and sincerity with which he delivered it. G. & B. making a point to spend time with us this week and then arranging with S. for us to get an undivided audience with Sherwood Lingenfelter. says a lot to me. L. never misses an opportunity to let us know how excited and encouraged he is with our dedication and intentions. (At one point during the oral section of our comprehensive exams, which dealt with China-related issues, L. brought up a certain passage of text. I was getting all geared up thinking he was about to challenge a point we'd just tried to make, but instead he said something like, "Oh I agree. I just brought that up because I thought it went along really nicely with what you said." Definitely the kind of guy you want on your Comps panel!) I don't have to think very hard before a substantial list begins to form of people in our school's intercultural studies community who have made a point to communicate their sincere, heartfelt support of us and our intentions. I've left many people unnamed, as well as the long-term efforts of those already mentioned.

All this to say, I guess, that I imagine growing to gratefully accept personal affirmation and approval as a gift rather than seeking it in an attempt to fulfill a need (or fearing it) will be a long process. But right now, the support of those we respect so highly is a huge, absolutely wonderful blessing.